Standing shoulder to shoulder with budget planning is having consistent emotional support. Looking back, I was quite rubbish in asking for help. Genuinely. Partly because I was really enjoying the flow state of building something that needed no one else to define or ‘approve’. But more than anything, it felt awkward, as if I was being a burden to others. It took a few conversations across a number of different folks, who I felt comfortable to share my thoughts with, to finally get that I wasn’t a burden. In fact, each of them reminded me that I’d often, and consistently, helped with advice and support, with no other expectations, on their own journey over the years. Although I knew this on some level, I had to properly ignore my own imposter syndrome and self-inflicted ‘burden barrier’ to pluck up the courage to ask for advice and support. I also had to discipline my brain and re-wire it to say it was safe to seek counsel from those I trusted and respected. This included family and close friends for emotional support. And on that note about money matters, I don’t mind saying it took me a while to have a conversation with my partner about the fear of not being ‘responsible enough’ to support the family. Well guess what, I was quickly reminded that it wasn’t my sole responsibility to bring the bread home. It never was. It’s a combined responsibility and one way or another, we’d find a way. My partner was one of my first pillars of support, for developing the business. I just had to be more confident in knowing there were more people ready to support me than I feared.

Helen McGuire, founder of two award-winning tech companies and among the less than 1% of women to have successfully had their business acquired*, was the first to introduce me to the need for ‘pillars of support’. To really understand who truly is in your corner. Her brilliantly insightful book ‘The Female Founder Formula’ talks of the real-life roadmap of nailing entrepreneurship. And a huge chunk of her approach is about the network of collaborators and ‘circles of support’. They include:

The Close Circle (close mates, family, those you call on first)

The Co-Founder Circle (your business partners)

The Community Circle (collaborators, mentors, clients, social media community)

The Competitor Circle (those in the same business space)

Helen delves into this in her book and our conversation (link to Oh Yeah Crew) on why this collaborative formula is necessary when building a business. We also talk about our journey, from first meeting each other, producing shows at BBC Radio 1, to now, living in Dubai with three young kids, having successfully built and sold a business, before hitting 45. Unreal. While our paths have been wildly different, we’ve remained firm friends for over 20 years. And whilst most of us will never have that background, Helen’s path brings up many questions relevant to our explorations, even if we don’t have any experience as an entrepreneur:

How do you know when to walk away from success?

Where do you get the belief to build something extraordinary?

Helen’s expertise covers the overall roadmap of building your own company, but let’s focus on her advice for emotional support for this season. Helen’s first pillar of support is her husband Justin, another brilliant entrepreneur who has consistently supported through her lowest points, encouragement never wavering.

Here’s the gold nugget I wanted to share from Helen, pertinent to so many of you in the ‘liminal’ season:

‘…sometimes your purpose won’t be well understood by those around you. You may even find that people close to you disagree with what you’re doing, or think you’re plain mad to tackle the problem, so the circumference of your close circle may shrink - and may grow unexpectedly…

Your new priorities may put some people out; the fact that you’re no longer free and easy with your time may lead some to think you’ve changed in their eyes, and they may not be happy with that. Let them be…and as some fall away, some surprising new allies can appear.’

I love this upfront honesty. And time and time again, when I’ve heard entrepreneurs speak of their journey within the Made for Business panel talks at Apple, without exception, they outlined the need for emotional support, identifying those who were able to give that. And making it clear that you can lean on connections that go way back.

This was really a key moment for me - that clarity in understanding that you can ask for help, particularly those with a speciality. And like those founders, I have so much gratitude to those who did offer their support, expertise and advice at the right time, and continue to do so whilst sharing the mission of Oh Yeah.

Let’s just cover that bit which Helen called out: friends falling away, and new allies appearing. All of us have experienced the spectrum of pain that can bring. And I’d say Natasha Lunn’s incredible book Conversations on Love is an extraordinary exploration into this, especially the chapter ‘The Seasons of Friendships’. Writers like Dolly Alderton and Candice Carty-Williams discuss the nuances, scenarios and context of friendship beautifully, with empathy and soul.

Beware of your own reaction when friends start giving unsolicited opinions on your early ideas and plans. This is quite a tricky one, as getting opinions from those who have a really valid expertise in what you’re exploring can be very welcome. However, it’s a very different experience when folks were giving an opinion for the sake of it. It grates. For sure, it can come from good intentions, but it can sometimes feel like you have to defend an idea that’s still only in its early stages. As I’ll explore more in season 4, the Playful Rising season, there are ways to deal with this so it doesn’t build up in your head and friendships remain firmly intact. For now, consider which people feel safest and most valuable for you to share nascent ideas with.

So with that in mind, use the space below to figure out your circle of trust and what role they might play to support you for the long run. You can be as specific as you want in the timings of when/where they can support. For example, you may feel more at ease sharing with your parents once you have more concrete plans in place.

Your circle of trust

Use this space to add notes and thoughts

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Your circle of trust

The Oh Yeah Juice

Your circle of trust