There’s a sea of advice out there, but helping to cut through the noise are my three fail-safe ways which have genuinely served me during this season. All three are relatable, and in combination, they can pack a reality punch (or a gentle sit down!) which will consistently help to ground you.

What’s needed:

Your mates
An app to track hormonal patterns for body and mood
Space to read and hear other people’s experiences

Here are all three ways, kicking off with this ever reliable tonic for the soul….

Your mates for a proper mid-week catch up

If you feel yourself tipping into apathy, book a mid-week night out with your mates. You know, the really good souls. It has to be mid-week, straight from work, with dear friends you can totally be yourself with. Preferably, they are your non-work mates (but may know you from previous jobs) where you can freely use your language, your tone of voice and not slip into that dreaded work-y phase ‘it’s been challenging’ (you’ll find I loathe this phrase). CAUTION: If you feel remotely like the need to say those words, you are literally not in the right company. These are not the right people you need to hang out with at this moment. So choose your trusted mates who are both supportive, smart and have your back (with head space themselves) so you‘ve got that good energy between you all. LOLs are mandatory.

This happened to me on a particular mid-week dinner in town. At this point of my ‘meh’ stage, I just thought I was a bit tired and needed to re-frame my situation. Maybe what I really needed was just a break from the mundanity of work, domestic and parenting routines.

Into our evening, we all shared our latest goings on. And then that question came up:

‘How’s work, Kat?’

I can’t actually remember how I responded, but I do remember the feeling of my mumbled reply.

‘You sound bored’, my friend Anna said, without missing a beat.

‘You don’t sound like you’re being challenged at work at all.’

Granted she’s a coach, but first and foremost a bloody good mate. And she called it. I was bored.

I looked at my other wonderful friend Megan, who, mid-chew on her chicken shish, nodded furiously in agreement.

We spoke loads more, exploring thoughts and ideas with a ton of encouragement thrown in. And looking back, it took that nourishing evening and space you hold for each other, so intuitively as friends, to have me feel comfortable enough to share where my head was at; to have my situation mirrored back to me, helping to articulate and identify how I was actually feeling in a language that made sense to me.

What I’m underlining here, is that sometimes it takes someone else to point out the obvious to trigger your brain to think, ’OK, so now what?!’

Breaking it down

So step one: share how you’re feeling with your lovely mates who know and care for you, know what you’re totally capable of AND aren’t afraid to call it how it is.

It’s an easy first step. Everyone can do this. Chicken shish optional.

If you’re curious to explore why connection is so important, particularly in this season, do read The Laws of Connection by David Robson which, based on neuroscience and philosophy reveals how social connections are far more important than we thought to our health. More specifically, there’s growing academic research which backs up ‘the beautiful mess effect’ . As humans, we are fearful of negative reactions to our failures and flaws, but completely underestimate how much people will appreciate our honesty and courage. That’s to say, people rarely perceive our weaknesses as harshly as we do (with the brain often playing tricks). So getting your mates together for a mid-week ‘hit’ when you’re feeling like this, will really help to fill your cup - and theirs too.

Important Terms and Conditions: Who to avoid in this situation

There are some folks in your friendship group who may not be so brilliant in those scenarios. And for those where you have experienced tricky dynamics in the past, here’s a fascinating read in how to spot fake compassion and avoid dark empaths. It’s a reminder that toxic ‘friendships’ are a thing and this stellar article does a brilliant job in spelling out toxic/ victim mode behaviours, especially at work. They are truly dreadful and can test everyone, getting really under the skin for even the most zenned:

For a deeper exploration in how to notice and understand your emotions, explore The Oh Yeah crew and Anna Taylor, senior yoga teacher and IAYT-accredited yoga therapist, mindfulness and compassion instructor. Anna has written about anchors of awareness in her book ‘Weaving Mindfulness and Compassion into Yoga Teaching’. It is an incredible resource for everyone, not just yoga teachers, which includes techniques to help discover that we don’t have to fight, fix or fear the feelings, but instead use them as a guide:

“While thoughts can sometimes be perceived as an intrusive visitor, they aren’t an enemy of our practice. We’re not seeking to clear our mind of thoughts, but rather to see clearly when we are ‘lost’ in them and become more skilful in working with them (rather than always believing them or immediately acting on them).

Anna Taylor ‘Weaving Mindfulness and Compassion into Yoga Teaching’.

2. An App which tracks regular hormonal changes

Step two. Know how your internal seasons impact your body and your mood.

Understanding where I’m at during a cycle and how daily hormone changes can impact me mentally was a massive revelation. Having now tracked my period for the last few years, it’s truly helped me understand how ‘normal’ my emotional state was during a particular time in my cycle. Compare this to times where I would plough through the pain and unpredictable feelings, dismissing those days with unhelpful ‘it’s just that time of the month’ phrases. Urgh. So that shift to understanding, then respecting the pattern, was a huge game-changer in my daily life. I knew when to cut myself some slack if I wasn’t feeling as productive as I wanted to be. I knew when socialising just wasn’t my main agenda, with no need to feel apologetic for wanting to have an early night. And now, for me at least, recognising changes in your regular baseline of symptoms allows you to gain a better level of clarity, rather than ignoring it, carrying on and soothing yourself through other means.

We know there is growing data on women’s experience of perimenopause and menopause in the work place. A Censuswide16 study, published to coincide with World Perimenopause Day revealed that it takes an average of 14 months for women to link symptoms to perimenopause; 70% of participants admitted to experiencing perimenopausal symptoms in their 30’s and 40’s, with 90% failing to recognise the immediate link to their fluctuating hormones and instead attributing symptoms to ageing, stress, anxiety and depression. So, if you are having fairly regular periods, tracking your own personal hormonal changes to your regular base line is the first step in recognising what is happening to your mind and body over time.

I came across an app called Moody Month a while back and it literally changed the way I viewed, understood and labelled those fluctuating emotions. Essentially, it’s a tracker which follows your cycle, depending on how much you input on how you’re feeling both physically and mentally. There are easy drop-down labels to help. Over time, the app spots patterns, offering holistic and science-backed solutions to support your mental and physical health. It was created by tech entrepreneur Amy Thomson who wanted to tackle the misunderstanding of women’s bodies and heath (and you can read all about that here). Amy built the app to capture a long-term picture of daily, weekly and monthly hormone patterns using technology to enable women to connect with their health in a more empowered way. Previously, I used the app ‘Clue’ (on and off) for my periods with other fitness trackers which were cycle-based, but I immediately loved Moody’s inclusivity, tone of voice and daily holistic guidance which I personally found so supportive, validating how I was feeling at various times especially when feeling low. There’s also a journal section within the app to capture certain moods or situations where I just needed that space to work out a train of thought which otherwise would have derailed me for the day, continuously circling in my head into wee small small hours.

Another brilliant resource is Le'Nise Brothers a registered nutritionist, mBANT, mCNHC, specialising in women’s health, hormones and the menstrual cycle working with clients with hormonal issues such as fibroids, PCOS, irregular and painful periods, endometriosis and perimenopause. She hosts the Period Story podcast with her 2022 book ‘You Can Have A Better Period’ helping women to discover what’s normal and what isn’t at each stage of the menstrual cycle:

Crucially, knowing that my hormones scientifically impacted on my body and mood gave me permission to accept where I was for that moment and not be annoyed with myself that I wasn’t firing on all cylinders. What I needed was rest, little to no noise and an early night. Knowing my mood at certain points of the day allowed me to adjust. For example, if I had any early-evening work calls, I’d just say that I was gonna be ‘off camera’ which allowed me not to be so ‘on’. Reading your own mental state accurately is a vital skill. This is especially sage advice for all you high-achievers out there and/ or serial multi-skillers who have the propensity to work non-stop. We’ll talk about healthy boundaries Oh Yeah’s seasonal tool kit, but suffice to say, knowing the patterns of my brain and body, therefore getting better at emotional foresight (more on that in a bit), was a huge unlock.

Step 3: Space to read/ hear other people’s experiences

During one particularly harsh winter (and I’m not just talking about the weather), I received an early Christmas gift, ‘The Comfort Book’ by Matt Haig. It has bought me such solace over the years, full of words of wisdom and short notes for when life gets tough. It’s not just relatable insights from Matt himself, but others across history, brought to life by his affirming, approachable way with words.

We know that reading and listening to other people’s experiences can help us to gain deeper insight and perspective on particular situations, but how often do we really make space for it? Yet every time we do, either through podcasts, films or beautifully told stories bound in books, it provides much-needed validation and perspective, by seeing and understanding other people’s lives and experiences. This is a huge part of Oh Yeah’s overall approach and I truly believe we can incorporate moments of comfort and understanding through small windows in our day-to-day life, whether on your commute or that hour to yourself after dinner, flopped on the sofa, book in hand, telly volume down.

One incredible article I’d like to share is by Jodie Cariss, co-founder of Self-Space, a brilliant organisation that’s completely opened up access to mental health support by creating an on-demand therapy service on the high street and online. In this piece, Jodie has beautifully captured the complexities of the season (in her case, autumn) and how this period can impact our daily mood. There’s a particular focus on October and its feeling of ‘heaviness’, acknowledging the onset of early dark nights impacting so many of us. So, whilst we contemplate our own life/career during this time of year, understanding how it all interconnects with seasonal triggers can be really powerful. It also allows you to be far gentler on yourself.

This is Jodie’s reflections here, alongside her expert self-care tips for this season, with tools on how to build both your resilience muscle and emotional foresight. It’s just a five minute read with journalling tips included.

Okay now I’ve done the feelings bit - what next?

Now that we’ve established three grounding techniques, you’re now better equipped to start exploring your own life/career direction.

Important terms and conditions: There’s no magic bullet, you can’t think yourself out of a situation. You’ve actually got to take responsibility to explore. But, as with many new healthy habits we’d all like to form, it’s important to start slowly and create easier entry points to help your brain muscles going. Over time, you’ll start building this more regularly into your daily routine because you now know it of its nourishing effects, all the while training the brain to catch you and support - not fight - when you’re in the lowest of all the moods.

So here are three methods I’ve consistently relied on for ‘doing something about it’…and got the results. One is more somatic-inspired, the other two are absolute solid as a rock life/career exercises you can return to time and time again. Start with the somatic approach, which will create the right foundations to aid clarity of thought when you’re struggling to seek what you value in your life/career.

The Oh Yeah Juice

What’s needed:

So where are you at?